Celebrity Death Match

Netscapethe_latest_celebrity_news_and_go People often come up to me and ask "Russell,if you had to pick a celebrity baseball team who would be in it?" So to stop the constant questions here is a celebrity team to beat the best.To avoid confusion I’ve decided to stick to celebrities from your side of the pond (incidentally it’s not actually a pond, it is,in fact,  very large ocean). geography lesson over with let’s move on to the selections;

Catcher- Michael Chiklis- the "Shield" and "Fantastic Four" star would be ideal for blocking the plate and he has a very good arm.

First Base-Denzel Washington-The toughest choice I had to make (to the extent that I was considering playing Chiklis at first with Jon Goodman catching) I’m just not convinced that Washington has what it takes to be an everyday player.

Second Base-Jerry Seinfeld- He brings experience to the infield but just doesn’t have the range to play at short stop.

Short stop-Will Smith-Smith will hopefully form a reliable partnership with Seinfeld.

Third Base-Matt Le Blanc-Everything about Le Blanc says "third base" (I have no idea what this sentence means).

Center Field- Matt Damon-Damon has proved in the "Bourne" movies that he can cover a lot of ground.He is the ideal center fielder for this team.

Left Field-Ben Stiller- Another tough choice.Brad Pitt and Keanu reeves were heartbreakingly close to being selected but in the end Stiller gets in for his hitting.

Right Field-Jake Gyllenhaal-The easiest decision I had to make.Gyllenhaal in right field is a no brainer.

Pitcher-Wentworth Miller- The first instinct was to go with Kevin Costner but his age is against him.The guy from "Prison Break" has a decent fastball and a good curve ball.

Manager-Jack Nicholson-He will command respect from this team.

Mascot-Ben Affleck-Affleck has been begging me for a role in this team but the best I can offer is "Hollywood Horace" the team’s mascot (which is probably the best role he has had in quite a while).

I don’t expect that this will be the line up that will end the season (Washington and Stiller in particular have yet to completely convince me that they merit their positions) but I expect them to at least be in the hunt for the Wild Card.

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One comment

  1. Matt

    I like these more than the “celebrity” softball lineups they trot out every All Star Game weekend.

    In two innings, one can endure a lifetime of Sara Silverman.

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