Say it ain’t so Jodie

My disappointment at the Diamondbacks loss of the divisional lead to the Padres is but a scratch compared to the gaping wound caused by a recent interview Jodiefoster1300 given by the actress Jodie Foster. I should add that I was a big fan of Miss Foster’s films (except the one where she lost her child on an airplane which was just silly) but that admiration has now turned to raging hate, for she has seen fit to criticize the fair town of Slough!

She talks of her time making "Bugsy Malone" and alleges that the Holiday Inn in Slough was terrible "it was like the Los Angeles Public School system" she adds (I know little of the school system in LA but I would suggest that this is the first time that it has been compared to a Holiday Inn).

Naturally the locals are outraged and have organized a series of meetings. The initial suggestion was to issue an ASBO against the actress (it’s like a poorly issued fatwa), but my oratorial skills won the day and as always the British have decided to adopt a moderate and measured response.

We plan to burn Miss Foster in effigy every day until the American Government hand her over to our custody.Dead or alive we don’t care.

PS- I was also disappointed that the recently publicized Harold Reynolds blog "what is a scoring position?" was not an expose on his time at ESPN.

PPS- Given the D-Backs form I am forced to predict defeat for them tonight against the Padres and that they will be swept by the Rockies .

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3 comments

  1. Matt

    Since one ugly American has already pronounced your hometown a dump, this’d be a perfect time for a second to chime in – how does one pronounce Slough?

    Does it rhyme with any of these words: Wow. Ewwww. Buff. Ho.

    Am I even close?

  2. Russell

    Matt-there is a famous English poem to help you remember,it starts
    “Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough,it isn’t fit for humans now”

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