Osama Bin Selig

"Bud Selig met with chief steroids investigator George Mitchell yesterday. A person with knowledge of Selig’s whereabouts says the baseball commissioner Questionmarks watched Barry Bonds’ 756th homer on television Tuesday night and then met with Mitchell in New York before returning to Milwaukee. Mitchell said in May his probe was in its "final phases" but declined comment today." (Associated Press)

I’m not particularly interested in the Selig/Mitchell meeting.What intrigues me is the phrase "a person with knowledge of Selig’s whereabouts ". I mean, seriously just how secretive is Bud Selig’s location? I don’t live in America so maybe I’m missing out on something here? Are news programs constantly speculating on where Bud is? Does he release shadowy video messages from anonymous mountain locations? Are the US Intelligence Services in such disarray that they can’t even locate the Commissioner of Major League Baseball? All questions to which I suspect the answer is yes.

Yet on reflection maybe this isn’t such a bad idea. If instead of holding a press conference Bud were to leak a crackly audiotape to a news network the public interest would be immense. Does the tape contain a coded message about steroid abuse? Has he just authorized the abolition of the Designated Hitter? Baseball would change from a sports story to a news story.

"The Hunt for Selig" could have it’s own graphic and theme tune on Fox News with Hannity and Colmes bringing their unique sense of perspective to the question. People who were suspected of being Bud Selig could be rounded up and flown to Romania under the terms of extraordinary rendition (I actually do an extraordinary rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game".) All I’m saying is that whilst the Talibinastion of MLB and a Bud Selig led Jihad might,at first glance, have it’s down side, there are also positives that need to be considered.

On another matter I’m predicting that the Nationals sweep the upcoming three game series.


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