If the NL West Were a Music Festival

Now that I am known throughout Slough as the premier baseball expert of the area I am often stopped in the street by the good citizens of this town and Folkfest asked for help and advice on the subject of the Major leagues.One popular question is "How can we better understand the National League West?" So I have devised an easy to follow system for all rookies to the game. I have categorized the teams of the NL West  as rock bands.Pick a band you like-pick a team you like. Anybody who is an expert in the game can also use this reference guide to perhaps pick a band you might like.

The San Francisco Giants would undoubtedly have to open the gig. They are an aging team way passed their best but with a star performer who is clearly under the influence of drugs. The Giants are, surprisingly, Sly and the Family Stone.

The Rockies are a young fast paced team who perhaps flatter to deceive. We need a band who sound better from the next room than in the room that you are in. The Kings of Leon it is.

I think that I have said before (or perhaps it was in a malarial dream) that the dull, efficient Padres are the spitting equivalent of Coldplay.

The Dodgers are a California based group of older men touring the country trying to recall former glories. To misquote Don Henley " I saw a Dodgers sticker on a Cadillac".

Topping the bill are a young exciting team who make plenty of mistakes but regularly draw crowds of over 18,000. More importantly they wear red purely for marketing purposes. The D-Backs are The White Stripes.

Enjoy the show but remember no flash photography and please respect our neighbors when you are leaving.

In addition, since I have gone 2 for 2 in my attempts to double-bluff the universe with my predictions I’m going for the Padres to take 2 of the upcoming 3 game series.


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