I’ve Got a System

Some of you may have noticed that my postings on here recently have been less than optimistic towards the future for the Diamondbacks.Don’t worry, there is method in my misery. For I have noticed a phenomenon that may possibly be unique in both human history and science, namely, the instant that I hit the "publish now" button on the MLBlogs page is exactly the same instant that the Nostradamus universe initiates a paradigm shift thus rendering everything that I have just written complete nonsense.

For example, on the day that I lauded the D-Backs for their performances in one run games they lost,and continued to lose, one run games. I praise Brandon Webb and he can’t win a game. Last week I hoped for a split in the 3 game series against the Cubs (before I published the blog it was a 4 game series).

This means that I have to think very carefully about what I commit to these pages. If the universe is determined to prove me wrong (and believe me it most certainly is) then I need to make sure that what I predict is the opposite of what I hope for.

This probably sounds simple to you but I’m afraid that it is much more complicated than it might first appear. For one thing I have to believe in what I predict, otherwise the Universe would not be fooled. So if I want the Diamondbacks to win I genuinely have to believe that they will lose, in other words, the greater my despondency the better the results. This requires the kind of mental control that Tibetan monks struggle for a lifetime to achieve, I’m essentially convincing my own mind that it’s beliefs are false whilst always being aware of the falsification.

There will of course be diagrams available to explain the kind of mental gymnastics that I am currently going through but suffice to say that I can genuinely predict that Florida will sweep the upcoming series and,as a bonus, the Marlins will suffer no injuries during their time at Chase Field.

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2 comments

  1. Kelly

    And Dontrelle Willis will snap out of whatever daze he has been in, and pitch with alarming poise and control.

    As for the injuries, though, seeing as we are averaging 3.2 bodily mutilations per game, I don’t think you’ll be fooling the universe any on that one.

    http://gamefish.mlblogs.com

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