How Baseball Could Improve

I know, I know. The last thing that you need is some dumb *** Limey telling you where you have all gone wrong in creating the game of baseball. Well I sometimes think that the best way to be a friend is to be honest about another’s faults. I know that my wife always welcomes my open and honest criticism (that cease and desist letter was merely playful flirting) so here it is, my strange speaking American cousins, my occasional quick and easy guide to making the best even better. I sure hope Bud Selig is reading this.

Speed the game up. It’s an obvious one but nobody seems to have come up with an answer-well how about 2 strikes and you’re out!! No, just joking (or am I ?) Yes I am. (am I ?) Yes I am definitely just joking about the 2 strikes and you’re out idea. Yet my proposal is in some ways even more radical than that for the single most annoying feature of the modern ball game is the constant pitching changes. Yes I know pitcher A struck out batter B in September 2004 but Jeez Louise you don’t need to get **** about it. Hence my quite astonishing suggestion that every pitcher has to face at least 3 batters.Yes you read me right, every pitcher has to face at least 3 batters. Doesn’t have to get them out, just has to face them, instantly putting an end to those dreary walks to the mound and walks from the bullpen so that some overweight (insert your stereotype of choice) can throw one pitch to a guy who’s just out of rehab for drink/drugs/spousal abuse. Make the pizza eating bullpen boys work for their money and make the managers think long and hard about pitching changes, make them think more than the next batter ahead. With this solution everybody is happy (except the managers and players but they’re just our overpaid amusement toys anyway).

It’s wild and it’s crazy but it might just work.

Enjoy the game.

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7 comments

  1. levelboss@levelboss.com

    welcome to mlblogs! i think there are at least 2 other people here who are from the UK and one from Sweden

    my only improvement to major league baseball would be the use of instant replay; i would have it used ONLY on field plays and not on pitch calls; also, teams would only have one use per game

  2. Russell

    levelboss-thanks for posting my first comment, even though you have ruined a future post by beating me to the punch!-instant replays seem to make so much sense and if used sparingly wouldn’t interrupt the flow of the game

  3. levelboss@levelboss.com

    actually, Russell, i have one more suggestion for the mlb.. designated hitters for the National League

    while i don’t doubt that some pitchers hit very well, it seems as if most pitchers don’t hit consistently enough (i think most National pitchers bat ninth in the order); also, pitchers would be less prone to injury if they didn’t bat; also, designated hitters can make the game more exciting

  4. Kellia

    Nice idea, making the bullpen work, but it’ll never happen. Every dreary pitching change is now a three minute commercial break, so there’s too much money to be made in having all the pitching changes.

    ByrnesBlogger1

    Life, Baseball & Eric Byrnes

    http://byrnesblog.mlblogs.com

  5. Kenn

    You flatter yourself. You claim to be a knowledgable baseball fan yet make light of overweight and out of rehab players and pizza eating bullpen boys. Baseball is not about a time clock, four quarters or (in the case of BORING soccer) two halves. It is about the ebb and flow of the game. The strategy that goes with almost every pitch. If you think games are two slow, then go back to watching soccer — that’s a real excrutiating time drag to get to a 2-1 score.

  6. Kenn

    You flatter yourself. You claim to be a knowledgable baseball fan yet make light of overweight and out of rehab players and pizza eating bullpen boys. Baseball is not about a time clock, four quarters or (in the case of BORING soccer) two halves. It is about the ebb and flow of the game. The strategy that goes with almost every pitch. If you think games are too slow, then go back to watching soccer — that’s a real excruciating time drag to get to a 2-1 score.

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